Sturgeon's Law

"Saving for Sleep" by Hannah Craig (Rattle)
"A Mistake" by Michael Palmer (Cue)

To get on this particular list, here's what a journal has to do:

• Consistently print work I like.
• Accept simultaneous submissions.
• Respond relatively quickly to submissions.
• Have a fairly high profile.

When all four happen at once, this list comes together. (Note that some journals that have been on this list in the past, like 32 Poems and The National Poetry Review, aren't there now only because I've already gotten in and am not so inclined to bother them.)

1. Mid-American Review. They do it all: good poetry, fast and frequently personalized responses, and acclaim without making me feel like they're inaccessible to my work.

2. Gulf Coast. Would probably be #1 for the sheer size, production quality, and goodness of work, but their response time has been somewhat inconsistent for me.

3. AGNI. I love the combined online/print publishing, and I feel like I'm getting closer there.

4. Cimarron Review. Unfortunately, it turns out that the closer you get, the longer they keep your poems. Other than that, spiffy.

5. Pleiades. Great journal. They might be higher except I have yet to get anything but a form rejection from them.

6. The Southern Review. Hoping to follow up the acceptance of that poem that had already been committed elsewhere with an acceptance of something available.

7. CutBank. A resurgent journal that's on the edgier side at this point, but where I think some of my poems would work well. E-mail submission through the blog is nice too.

8. Rattle. In my estimation, they have the most catholic/eclectic tastes of any journal on this list, which suits me fine. Bonus points for the supoib website redesign.

9. Shenandoah. Honestly, I may just be keeping them on here because I got that one note from them (and because they're so damn prestigious).

10. Sycamore Review. Nice mix of stuff, though right now I wish it were a little more poetry heavy. I like the blog, too.

11. Cincinnati Review. For a relatively new and small journal, they seem to have a pretty major cash reserve.

12. West Branch. Another place that seems to be on the way up. Helpful replies, too.

13. Notre Dame Review. A newcomer to the list--I enjoy a lot of their quirky pieces.

This leaves out the many fine non-simultaneous journals that respond fast (e.g. Field), places I love but that respond a little too slow (hello, Crazyhorse), outlets that seem promising but where I don't have enough personal submission experience yet (Redivider), and places that meet the basic criteria but that have some little quirks that eliminate them (like Chelsea, who has twice, 12+ months apart and with another submission there in between, replied that they're all full of work and not considering submissions--just PUT IT ON THE WEBSITE!)

My poem "Crestone Conglomerate" has been nominated for the Pushcarts by The National Poetry Review.

Anagrams for "Steven D. Schroeder" that contain either "Verse" or "Verses":

Notched Red Verses
Drenched Verse Sot
Torched Verse Ends
Docents Herd Verse
Cod Shred Verse Net
The Doc Rends Verse
Odd Verse Trenches
Odder Verse Stench
Sodden Verse Retch
Tech Verses Droned

Here's a happy holiday draft. I'll probably post something late in the weekend.

Okay, I'm not one of the many "Microsoft is the devil" types you see around, but you've found a new way to piss me off. I recently got the "Student and Teacher" edition of Office 2003 (as if most students and teachers have $130+ to blow on it--I wouldn't have bought it except I was reimbursed). One of the programs it includes is Outlook, and since I currently use Outlook Express, I figured it would be no big deal to upgrade.

Ha ha.

First, Outlook claims that it can import all your information from Outlook Express, but it turns out that certain things of minor importance, like e-mail passwords, actually don't get transferred.

Second, Outlook has switched from the sensible preview pane system Outlook Express (and old Outlook) used, so that instead of the e-mail list covering most of the full width of the screen and about half top-to-bottom, with the text of the message itself covering the bottom half at the same width, it's now split into two columns, with the message list and the text both looking like newspaper columns. Microsoft claims that you can view more of the message text this way, apparently ignoring that (A) you can no longer easily see as many messages or who sent them or when they arrived because there's no width for those columns, and (B) reading any length of message in newspaper column format is harder, word-flow-wise, than reading it with long lines. Think Whitman versus Kay Ryan or Mary Oliver. I was able to fix the display, but it's simply not something I should have to fix in the first place.

Finally, I assumed that since Outlook Express is a stripped-down version of Outlook, Outlook would have all the Outlook Express features I like.

Ha ha.

At least two helpful features of Outlook Express that I consistently use have vanished, and it also apparently no longer acknowledges any attempt you make to cancel downloading of messages, instead continuing to do it in the background so you can see it happening but are powerless to stop it. Seriously.

So goodbye Outlook, hello again trusty old Outlook Express. I'll be looking elsewhere for software in the near future, Microsoft.

Just a little bit of submission time left.

Poets in the 2007 Eleventh Muse so far:
Emily Wong
Larissa Szporluk
Margaret Ronda
Doug Ramspeck
Carsten Rene Nielsen
Jeff Newberry
John McKernan
Nathan McClain
Gary L. McDowell
Tim Lockridge
Timothy Liu
Sarah Lindsay
Steve Langan
David Keplinger
Genevieve Kaplan
Charlotte Innes
Joseph Hunt
H. L. Hix
Noah Eli Gordon
Jeannine Hall Gailey
Suzanne Frischkorn
Gina Franco
Jason Fraley
Diane Elayne Dees
Jehanne Dubrow
Tom Daley
Gary Joseph Cohen
Patrick Carrington
Joel Brouwer
Gaylord Brewer
Paul Benton
Jeffrey Bean
Danielle Aquiline
Mary Alexandra Agner

Poetry West/The Eleventh Muse are happy to announce the following nominees for the Pushcart Prizes (all poems are from the 2006 issue of The Eleventh Muse):

"Windows," Mark Irwin
"Ciphers," Leigh Anne Couch
"Unflown," Sandra Beasley
"A Pilgrim's Progress, or Lack Thereof," Clay Matthews
"Pearl Street," Jeffery Bahr
"Blink," Erin Malone

Congratulations to all the fine nominees and to everyone else who caused the decision-making process to be so difficult with their fine poems.

Who do you think of as a good example of a versatile poet?

Is it bad that I graduated from college 8 years ago, but I still regularly have dreams where I'm signed up for a class I need to graduate, and I haven't been to class all semester?

Guess who's gearing up for MFA applications!

As a companion to my presses-with-open-reading-periods list (please feel free to add others to that too), here's a list of poetry book contests specifically for first books, listed chronologically by deadline. Again, if there are any that I'm missing, please let me know. You should definitely check the individual sites for specific guidelines, page length requirements, etc.

Cleveland State University Poetry Center Prize ($20, Nov. 1-March 1)
Prairie Schooner Prize ($25, Jan. 1-March 30)
Liam Rector First Book Prize ($20, March 30)
Four Way Books Intro Prize ($25, March 31)
Tupelo Press Poetry Contest ($25, Jan. 1-April 15)
Agnes Lynch Starrett Poetry Prize ($25, March 1-April 30)
Wick Poetry Prize ($20, Feb. 1-May 1)
Anhinga Prize ($25, Feb. 15-May 1, first or second book)
Zone 3 Press First Book Award ($20, May 1)
ABZ Poetry Prize ($25, May 31)
Crab Orchard Series in Poetry First Book Award ($25, May 15-July 1)
Transcontinental Poetry Award ($18, June 1-Aug. 31)
St. Lawrence Book Award ($25, Aug. 31)
De Novo Poetry Contest ($15, $25 for entry plus winning book, Sept. 1)
Juniper Prize ($20, Aug. 1-Sept. 30, only first-book in alternate years)
American Poetry Review /Honickman First Book Prize in Poetry ($25, Oct. 31)
Patricia Bibby First Book Award ($25, Oct. 31)
Bakeless Prize ($10, Sept. 15-Nov. 1)
Yale Series of Younger Poets ($15, Oct. 1-Nov. 15)
A. Poulin, Jr. Poetry Prize ($25, Aug. 1-Nov. 30)
Walt Whitman Award ($25, Sept. 15-Nov. 30)
New Issues Poetry Prize ($15, Nov. 30)
Gerald Cable Book Award ($20, Dec. 31, original due date Oct. 15)

Hey there. If you happened to find my blog because The Independent mentioned me, you should know that I'm really not a nice guy. I swear way too much, for one thing. But welcome, and thanks to the Indy for the mention--I'm not sure who's responsible, though I have one decent idea.

Also, since I asked for advice and got a lot here, I ought to update you. I talked to the resume company owner who was offering me the promotion, and it turns out there's some more flexibility to the new position than I had originally understood. Therefore, I decided to take the promotion. I still plan on going back into an MFA or perhaps PhD program next fall, however.

Tomorrow at 7 PM I'll be reading as part of the Writers Harvest benefit event for Care & Share at 7 p.m. at the Smokebrush Gallery.

Friday I'll be carpooling up to Denver to see the obnoxiously skilled and prolific David Keplinger of Pueblo read from his new book The Prayers of Others (New Issues) at Cameron Church, 1600 South Pearl Street, followed by a reception at Book Buffs.

Not especially happy with the statewide results, but the national results are heartening. Now let's see a unified message or vision or something that's not a negative statement, Dems...

Poetry West and The Eleventh Muse are currently seeking reviews for the following books:

Canticles & Inventories, Tom Daley (Wyngaerts Hoeck Press)
For the Lost Boys, Jeffrey Franklin (Ghost Road Press)
In the Place of Singing, John Freeman (Louisiana Literature Press)
The Solitude of Cities, Ruth Holzer (Finishing Line Press)
Fleur Carnivore, Richard Lyons (The Word Works)
There Is Nothing to Love about Los Angeles, Frank Matagrano (Pudding House Publications)
Settling for Beauty, J. D. Smith (Cherry Grove Collections)
A Field Guide to the Wildlife of Suburban O'ahu, Joseph Stanton (Time Being Books)

Reviews will be considered for publication in The Eleventh Muse 2007 if they are returned by December 1 and published on the Poetry West website regardless. (People who have already taken books for review should also note that due date.)

We are also interested in receiving additional titles for review. Please send review copies to:

Poetry West
PO Box 2413
Colorado Springs, CO 80901

I am an inveterate tinkerer. Witness the rewriting of this piece, which I liked writing but which was simply too inside and too verbose to make it into my manuscript. I want something like it in my manuscript, so here's a rewrite.

---

*snip*

Best story I've seen in months. All I have to say is Too bad it wasn't Dobson.