Saturday, May 26, 2007
13 Facts About Bob Hicok
1. Bob Hicok doesn't submit to literary journals. Literary journals submit to Bob Hicok.
2. Bob Hicok is a robot who can transform into a giant mechanical pencil full of poetry.
3. Bob Hicok heard that you should write what you know, so he wrote everything.
4. After a Bob Hicok reading, all the audience members are pregnant, including the men.
5. Bob Hicok rhymes with orange. And orange likes it.
6. Bob Hicok publishes children's novels under his pen name, J. K. Rowling.
7. You may have noticed Bob Hicok's poems turning up in the same journals where you publish. That's because Bob Hicok is stalking you.
8. Bob Hicok has earned the little-known but lucrative Wile E. Coyote Super Genius grant.
9. Bob Hicok isn't an unacknowledged legislator of the world because everyone realizes he's in charge.
10. When Bob Hicok flies into town for a reading, he actually flies himself.
11. Bob Hicok doesn't refer to himself in the third person. He refers to himself in the infinitieth person.
12. Bob Hicok travelled back in time and shot Wild Bill Hickok for spelling his last name differently.
13. Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of Bob Hicok.
Please share your fun Bob Hicok facts in the comments or your blog!
2. Bob Hicok is a robot who can transform into a giant mechanical pencil full of poetry.
3. Bob Hicok heard that you should write what you know, so he wrote everything.
4. After a Bob Hicok reading, all the audience members are pregnant, including the men.
5. Bob Hicok rhymes with orange. And orange likes it.
6. Bob Hicok publishes children's novels under his pen name, J. K. Rowling.
7. You may have noticed Bob Hicok's poems turning up in the same journals where you publish. That's because Bob Hicok is stalking you.
8. Bob Hicok has earned the little-known but lucrative Wile E. Coyote Super Genius grant.
9. Bob Hicok isn't an unacknowledged legislator of the world because everyone realizes he's in charge.
10. When Bob Hicok flies into town for a reading, he actually flies himself.
11. Bob Hicok doesn't refer to himself in the third person. He refers to himself in the infinitieth person.
12. Bob Hicok travelled back in time and shot Wild Bill Hickok for spelling his last name differently.
13. Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of Bob Hicok.
Please share your fun Bob Hicok facts in the comments or your blog!
Comments:
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Bob Hicok doesn't point to his hand to show where in Michigan he's from. Michigan points to Bob Hicok. (And says, "That's fucking BOB HICOK!")
--Kristin
--Kristin
# posted by 
: May 26, 2007 10:01 PM
: May 26, 2007 10:01 PM
1. Bob Hicok spells "Hickok" incorrectly. He shot Wild Bill Hickok for drawing attention to his error.
2. "Bob Hicok" spelled backwards is "Dalek." ("Destroy... destroy... destroy..." Oh, where's Dr. Who when you need him?)
3. When you look up Bob Hicok in the dictionary, it shows a picture of Bob Hicok.
4. Bob Hicok once hit #4 on the pop charts with his cover of "Whiter Shade of Pale."
5. Bob Hicok rhymes with door hinge. And orange likes to watch.
6. Bob Hicok published his first book of poems several months before he was born.
7. You may also have noticed Bob Hicok's poems turning up in corn fields. That's because Bob Hicok is stalking corn.
8. Bob Hicok was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of a melting polar ice cap in Al Gore's documentary on global warming.
9. As W.H. Auden once commented, "'The unacknowledged legislators of the world' are the secret police, not the poets."
10. And boy are his arms tired.
11. There was once a report that Bob Hicok became alarmed when he observed that the shadow of his equipage resembled Bob Hicok.
12. Scientists, however, report that attempts at time travel have so far been unsuccessful.
13. Word verification for this post is: zzfxuq
2. "Bob Hicok" spelled backwards is "Dalek." ("Destroy... destroy... destroy..." Oh, where's Dr. Who when you need him?)
3. When you look up Bob Hicok in the dictionary, it shows a picture of Bob Hicok.
4. Bob Hicok once hit #4 on the pop charts with his cover of "Whiter Shade of Pale."
5. Bob Hicok rhymes with door hinge. And orange likes to watch.
6. Bob Hicok published his first book of poems several months before he was born.
7. You may also have noticed Bob Hicok's poems turning up in corn fields. That's because Bob Hicok is stalking corn.
8. Bob Hicok was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of a melting polar ice cap in Al Gore's documentary on global warming.
9. As W.H. Auden once commented, "'The unacknowledged legislators of the world' are the secret police, not the poets."
10. And boy are his arms tired.
11. There was once a report that Bob Hicok became alarmed when he observed that the shadow of his equipage resembled Bob Hicok.
12. Scientists, however, report that attempts at time travel have so far been unsuccessful.
13. Word verification for this post is: zzfxuq
Bob Hicok has replaced Billy Collins as the poet-to-be-bashed. Billy is surely relieved. Bob should surely take it as a sign of his success.
Lyle: "Bob Hicok published his first book of poems several months before he was born."
Thoroughly awesome too!
Thoroughly awesome too!
Bob Hicok knows Billy Collins’ deepest fear because everyone knows Billy Collins’ deepest fear, just like every other poet’s deepest fear, is a world without Bob Hicok.
William Carlos Williams was misquoted. He originally said “If it ain’t a Bob Hicok poem, it ain’t a pleasure.
Franz Wright was scared sober by a heavenly visitation from Bob Hicok.
Steven Hawking does not have ALS. He merely cringes every time he comprehends the vast awesomeness of Bob Hicok’s poetry.
William Carlos Williams was misquoted. He originally said “If it ain’t a Bob Hicok poem, it ain’t a pleasure.
Franz Wright was scared sober by a heavenly visitation from Bob Hicok.
Steven Hawking does not have ALS. He merely cringes every time he comprehends the vast awesomeness of Bob Hicok’s poetry.
The new litmag Barn Owl Review has a review of a book by Bob Hicok on its website.
Oh. That's not funny. Darn it.
Oh. That's not funny. Darn it.
1. When Bob Hicok appeared with the Pope, the man behind me said "who's that guy with Bob Hicok"?
2. Andy Warhol famously said: "In the future, everyone will be Bob Hicok for 15 minutes."
3. Based on the premise of something being simultaneously in different places at the same time, scientists have raised their estimate of the number of parallel universes to 211.
4. Last week, Bob Hicok refuted this argument using only sixth- grade algebra.
5. In a notorious mescalin-fueled six-day writing binge, Bob Hicok inadvertently solved the restaurant missing dollar paradox.
6. If laid end to end, Bob Hicok's published poems would flood central Michigan to a depth of five and a quarter inches.
7. In a poll of world leaders, Bob Hicok recently supplanted His Holiness The Dalai Lama as the person they would most like to have dinner with.
8. George W Bush was the only dissident, choosing instead to go with Howdy Doody.
9. In the 1978-79 NBA season, Bob Hicok averaged a triple-double while playing most of the season with two broken ankles.
10. Under the nom-de-plume "Fibonnaci", Bob Hicok successfully defended his world blogging champion title three straight years, most recently knocking out Ron Silliman in only 39 seconds after Silliman tried to bite off part of his resume.
11. Bob Hicok received his summa cum laude Astrophysics degree from Princeton at seven years of age, while holding down a demanding CEO position at the fledgeling Microsoft.
12. Only Bob Hicok knows number 12
13. Bob Hicok can eat four Shredded Wheat.
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2. Andy Warhol famously said: "In the future, everyone will be Bob Hicok for 15 minutes."
3. Based on the premise of something being simultaneously in different places at the same time, scientists have raised their estimate of the number of parallel universes to 211.
4. Last week, Bob Hicok refuted this argument using only sixth- grade algebra.
5. In a notorious mescalin-fueled six-day writing binge, Bob Hicok inadvertently solved the restaurant missing dollar paradox.
6. If laid end to end, Bob Hicok's published poems would flood central Michigan to a depth of five and a quarter inches.
7. In a poll of world leaders, Bob Hicok recently supplanted His Holiness The Dalai Lama as the person they would most like to have dinner with.
8. George W Bush was the only dissident, choosing instead to go with Howdy Doody.
9. In the 1978-79 NBA season, Bob Hicok averaged a triple-double while playing most of the season with two broken ankles.
10. Under the nom-de-plume "Fibonnaci", Bob Hicok successfully defended his world blogging champion title three straight years, most recently knocking out Ron Silliman in only 39 seconds after Silliman tried to bite off part of his resume.
11. Bob Hicok received his summa cum laude Astrophysics degree from Princeton at seven years of age, while holding down a demanding CEO position at the fledgeling Microsoft.
12. Only Bob Hicok knows number 12
13. Bob Hicok can eat four Shredded Wheat.
# posted by : January 08, 2008 7:55 PM
: January 08, 2008 7:55 PM << Home
