Sturgeon's Law

Meow meow meow

I like to lick plastic bags
No one knows why
I don't think I know why

I wake Uncle Steven up in the morning, every morning
for no good reason
Meow, I say, and then
BONK with my head

Occasionally when he rubs my belly
which I love
I will suddenly decide
I am very scared
and latch onto his entire forearm

All I want to do during the winter
is crawl under the comforter on his bed
All I want to do during the summer
is lie in the closet
and occasionally melt
into a dark puddle on the living room floor

My favorite hobby is
digging litter

Meow meow meow

All cats and all cat owners
are insane